What about these? I [...]]]>

So. Does this advert make anyone feel good? Does it make you want to try this cream to give you a six pack? Does it make you believe you can skip the gym and a healthy diet in favour of using this product by Bliss and suddenly you will look like this model?

What about these? I mean obviously you can’t be above a UK10 (that’s a US6) because otherwise you are HUGE and in dire need of detox tablets, slimming/electric pants and creams (just like some of the ones listed above) to take you from a “fat girl” into a “slim girl”. The best part is that it is two pages long. I tried to put it on “view all” and went full screen and I still couldn’t fit it all:

Please don’t think that I have a vendetta against Bliss. They make some lovely hand creams and their massages are great.

But what message are these products sending!?! What does it say about our society that so many brands have products specifically designed to change your figure and give you a six pack? Dissolve your cellulite? Tone your arms? I mean the absurdity of these messages is beyond the pale!! We as people have gotten to a point where we are beyond reason and have started using creams and potions instead of eating right and hard work?

Let me set the record straight, I have nothing against dieting in general and eating healthy or changing your diet for the specific purpose of shifting weight (obviously within reason, I’m doing it myself [or trying to!!] and attempting to eat Primal/Paleo) because I know I could stand to lose weight and I am taking regular ballet classes to improve my fitness and tone my body), I have friends who have had great success with Slimming World and Weight Watchers combined with having a gym buddy to keep them going to the gym on a regular basis.

I know everyone will say to me, “Sara, this is meant to be tongue in cheek, you’re taking it far too seriously!!!” But that’s not the point. I don’t care that it’s a cheeky advert. I care that it makes me feel crappy. I will tell anyone that I am overweight. Maybe not by a lot but I struggle so hard to get into that “zone” of ideal weight (whether it’s ideal in reality or in my head) and I have to admit it’s getting me down.

Everywhere I’m surrounded by products and adverts telling me to get skinny, get happy and buy buy buy! If I just join this gym over that gym I will get the perfect body. If I take this supplement I will have perfect hair and nails. This deodorant won’t rub off onto my clothes and this perfume will help me attract the perfect partner (forget about brains and what’s inside, you only need LIPSTICK!). Then comes these ranges telling me how to get perfect (by whose standards!?). Tone my arms, get a six pack, make my skin look younger (because ageing isn’t a choice anymore? I just have to stay young forever and judge anyone who chooses to age and at the same time shame anyone who chooses plastic surgery?), banish my cellulite (which I’ve actually had since age 11, it’s genetics people!)…I mean really all I’m left to do is just bemoan my gender and what seems to be our utter hatred for ourselves. We get so caught up in covering every flaw and compressing our flaws with uncomfortable underwear (that flatters no one!) and I get so dejected.

I continue to make resolves to not care what people think but taking a look around the various industries (be it beauty, advertising or news, fashion or even science [anyone remember Weird Science?]) everything has to be sexualised and perfected. Whatever happened to just being individuals?

I’m Sara and I am far from perfect.

(I know it’s another ballet shot but it’s literally the most recent picture I’ve got)

L’OCCITANE, the natural beauty company, is delighted to announce the opening of their boutique in The Exchange Shopping Centre, High Street Putney. The boutique will be opened by Lord Mayor of Wandsworth, Councillor Adrian Knowles at 10am on Thursday 2nd May 2013, Unit 22, The Exchange Shopping Centre, High Street Putney.

L’OCCITANE will celebrate the [...]]]>

L’OCCITANE, the natural beauty company, is delighted to announce the opening of their boutique in The Exchange Shopping Centre, High Street Putney. The boutique will be opened by Lord Mayor of Wandsworth, Councillor Adrian Knowles at 10am on Thursday 2nd May 2013, Unit 22, The Exchange Shopping Centre, High Street Putney.

L’OCCITANE will celebrate the boutique opening with special introductory offers and giveaways. The first 100 customers to spend £30 will receive a FREE L’Occitane Best of Provence Collection, worth over £20.

L’OCCITANE trained beauty experts will be on hand to offer mini facials and personal skin care consultations as well as relaxing hand & cuticle massage featuring our multi award-winning Shea Butter Hand Cream. Guests can enjoy complimentary drinks and canapés as they explore an irresistible collection of gifts and scented treats guaranteed to brighten up the day.

With award-winning skincare products such as the anti-ageing Immortelle collection and authentic scents typical of the south of France such as lavender, rose and cherry blossom, each L’Occitane product tells a true story about the men and women who live and  work in these regions, preserving traditions and age-old customs.

_________________________________________________________________________

Okay. Now regular readers of the blog will know I’m not a big fan of posting arbitrary press releases. I tend to leave that to the other blogs because I consider them to be filler and you can find them on EVERY BLOG and I don’t want to show you the same press release you’ve seen 100000000000000x everywhere else so I skip them and as a rule don’t post press releases or promo shots. What can I tell you that you don’t already know!? BUT the reason I am posting this is because it’s not actually that far from where I live and I can’t turn down a free canapé and a hand massage with their shea butter lotion (which is fantastic and something I grew up using because my mum swears by it) so I am planning on dropping by around 2pm (traffic permitting on buses obviously!) and if I see you, I see you!

Before I write anything related to the picture I just want to warn everyone I am trying a blog app where I can write posts and upload pictures and do everything right from my iPad (it is supposed to be a very intuitive app called “Blogsy”) so if this gets all messed [...]]]>

L’Oreal Tanning Dry Spray

Before I write anything related to the picture I just want to warn everyone I am trying a blog app where I can write posts and upload pictures and do everything right from my iPad (it is supposed to be a very intuitive app called “Blogsy”) so if this gets all messed up it just means I haven’t figured it out yet!

Now! Onto the picture. I wasn’t kidding when I said I conquered a beauty fear on Friday, this post is all about it…it is completely inane but I was all weird about fake tan. I didn’t hate it I just had some bad self tanning experiences that put me off it completely. I had resigned myself to being a former California naturally tan person to a pale, pale Londoner. To put it simply I was talked into going to this tanning lecture/demonstration by a really lovely PR gal at L’Oreal who I have a hard time saying no to because she’s really sweet and always seems to remember me and I usually can’t remember what I had for dinner the night before so if she is going to put the effort in well….so will I. So I warned her profusely that I didn’t do tanning, I wasn’t into it but I was going to show up for her.

The woman who actually did the demonstration is responsible for Cheryl Cole’s tan (apparently she doesn’t naturally look like that….I genuinely never thought about it!) and I will never know the secrets of Cheryl’s tan (truthfully I don’t care!) because my local tube line (Piccadilly) had horrible signalling problems so I was over 30 minutes late which was very embarrassing but kind of worked out in my favour because I had the privilege of talking privately to the tanning woman (this is why I need to write posts on the day because now her name is slipping my name and she was so wonderful and patient with me and now I can’t remember her name!) and I was able to share my fears about tanning: I’d tried it twice before and it always ended up streaky and kind of orange and smelly and so I’d abandoned the idea altogether (not to mention taking FOREVER to dry and staining anything I touched (what can I say, I’m not good at standing still?! My mother can attest to this!)). But she was so patient and actually had solution products to my worries, hence the picture.

L’Oreal Tanning Nozzle

L’Oreal (and apparently other companies I just was unaware of it until I went to this demonstration!) have something called a “Dry Mist” (which kind of bothers me because it is an oxymoron!) where you spray it with that fantastic nozzle seen in the above photo and it covers massive parts of your body and dries almost instantly (within a few minutes which is better for me than any of those creams or lotions that I tried that took 30+ minutes because I just cannot wait that long!!!). The downside to the big misty thing is that you have to hold it approx 40cm away from your body at all times and I have short arms. I am a SHORT person. I am not willowy with long limbs on any part of my body. So the first time I definitely ended up with some streaky bits on the backs of my arms when I accidentally held it too close. The same for my legs. But I exfoliated and got off the streaks and tried a second time 48hrs later and tried to remember that further away is better (for some reason my brain thinks “go closer! It isn’t working because it is too far away!”) and I had a much better, smoother application.

It is also worth saying that since I used the fake/at home tanning people I see weekly have started to come up to me and tell me how great I look and how I have lost loads of weight (I lost 5kg a few months ago) and I think it might be because I look healthy from the tan instead of looking pale and sick. But I will say that the mist comes out cold on your skin and you perpetually smell like fake tan. So it isn’t all perfect!!

Also pictured is the face tanning spray. I don’t have this, I have just been naughty and held the body tan as far away from my face as possible and tanned. So far I have survived. No weird tan or boils or anything on my face…but I think they want you to use the face stuff as it is designed for faces and their more delicate skin and no the more tolerant and tough body skin. The woman teaching tanning told me she had been using the face tan spray and she looked luminous. It might have been pregnancy glow but her skin really did look healthy and warm and unlike my pale ghastly pallor!

L’Oreal Tanning Lotions

This is part of a whole range of products for the 2013 summer range. It includes lotions that are supposed to be great (I didn’t try them at the demonstration day and I haven’t tried them in store either) but they come in Nourishing and Firming. I did learn that one of the main reasons tans fade is lack of moisture in the skin (seriously. I am a total tan infant. I know nothing besides tanning outside has to do with melanin in your skin and tanning inside has to do with stuff you put on your skin and if you shave you shave off your tan. Ahem. Not that I ever did that or anything……) and these lotions are “tan extenders” and they help your skin maintain the fake tan you put on. What differentiates them from everyday lotion? Totally valid question…I will have to ask and get back to you. Or do some research. It just popped into my head as I was writing this post and now I am curious!

So onto one of the last bits: in the middle is the Exfoliator being promoted with the tanning stuff. I actually was given this, I braved using it when my tan was streaky and it worked really well….but on my skin this was no gentle exfoliating treatment. It felt like I was sloughing off my skin using jagged rocks! I actually was in the shower saying “Ouch!” But I used it the once for research purposes. Definitely not again on my sensitive skin! I haven’t tried the tanning or shimmering tanning gels and I don’t know that I will because I am having such good results with the mist.

Last part of this epic post, I promise! The last thing I took home with me (besides the mist and exfoliator) was this body oil/tan optimiser. Apparently if you put it on before you tan the tan goes on better and lasts longer. Truthfully I didn’t like this oil. It was greasy and didn’t sink well into my skin. I have a million body oils (mostly samples) that I’ve been cycling through to moisturise my skin pre-tan because then the oil is absorbed into my skin and I’m not left with greasy skin covered in fake tan.

My personal opinion (if you are a lazy/impatient person like me) is to go for the mist (maybe the face spray, I haven’t found it necessary) and use your own lotion/oil to fill in the gaps. The mist is fantastic, I just am not sold on the rest of the line. But I am a changed and convinced believer in the power of a fake tan!!

Posted with Blogsy

By Andrew Orlowski

Posted in Media, 29th April 2013 07:27 GMT

Have you ever uploaded a photo to Facebook, Instagram or Flickr?

If so, you’ll probably want to read this, because the rules on who can exploit your work have now changed radically, overnight. Amateur and professional illustrators [...]]]>

UK.Gov passes Instagram Act: All your pics belong to everyone now

Everyone = Silicon Valley ad platforms tech companies

By Andrew Orlowski

Posted in Media, 29th April 2013 07:27 GMT

Have you ever uploaded a photo to Facebook, Instagram or Flickr?

If so, you’ll probably want to read this, because the rules on who can exploit your work have now changed radically, overnight. Amateur and professional illustrators and photographers alike will find themselves ensnared by the changes, the result of lobbying by Silicon Valley and radical bureaucrats and academics. The changes are enacted in the sprawling Enterprise and Regulatory Reform Act which received Royal Assent last week, and it marks a huge shift in power away from citizens and towards large US corporations.

How so? Previously, and in most of the world today, ownership of your creation is automatic, and legally considered to be an individual’s property. That’s enshrined in the Berne Convention and other international treaties, where it’s considered to be a basic human right. What this means in practice is that you can go after somebody who exploits it without your permission – even if going after them is cumbersome and expensive. The Coalition’s new act reverses this human right. When last year Instagram attempted to do something similar, it met with a furious backlash. But the Act has sailed through without most amateurs or semi-professionals even realising the consequences.

The Act contains changes to UK copyright law which permit the commercial exploitation of images where information identifying the owner is missing, so-called “orphan works”, into what’s known in the jargon as “extended collective licensing” schemes. Since most digital images on the internet today are orphans – the metadata is missing or has been stripped by a large organisation – then millions of photographs and illustrations are swept into such schemes.

For the first time anywhere in the world, the Act will permit the widespread commercial exploitation of unidentified work – the user only needs to perform a “diligent search”. But since this is likely to come up with a blank, they can proceed with impunity. The Act states that a user of a work can act as if they are the owner of the work (ie, you) if they’re given permission to do so by the Secretary of State, acting as a regulated body. The Act also fails to prohibit sub-licensing, meaning that once somebody has your work, they can wholesale it. This gives the green light to a new content scraping industry, an industry which doesn’t have to pay the originator a penny. Such is the consequence of “rebalancing copyright,” in reality.

What now?

Quite what happens next is not clear, because the Act is merely enabling legislation – the nitty gritty will come in the form of statutory instruments, to be tabled later in the year. Parliament has not voted down a statutory instrument since 1979, so the political process is probably now a formality.

In practice, you’ll have two stark choices to prevent being ripped off: remove your work from the internet entirely, or opt-out by registering it. And registration will be on a work-by-work basis.

“People can now use stuff without your permission,” explained photo rights campaigner Paul Ellis. “To stop that you have to register your work in a registry – but registering stuff is an activity that costs you time and money. So what was your property by default will only remain yours if you take active steps, and absorb the costs, if it is formally registered to you as the owner.”

And right now, Ellis says, there’s only one registry, PLUS [1]. Photographers, including David Bailey [2], condemned the Coalition for rushing through the legislation before other registries – such as the Copyright Hub – could sort themselves out.

“The mass of the public will never realise they’ve been robbed,” thinks Ellis. The radical free-our-information bureaucrats at the Intellectual Property Office had already attempted to smuggle orphan works rules through via the Digital Economy Act in 2010, but were rebuffed. Thanks to a Google-friendly Conservative-led administration, they’ve now triumphed.

Three other consequences appear possible.

One is a barrage of litigation from UK creators – and overseas owners who find their work Hoovered into extended collective licensing programs. International treaties allow a country to be ostracised and punished. The threat has already been made clear from US writers and photographers, who’ve promised “a firestorm [3]“. Reciprocal royalty arrangements can also be suspended, on the basis of “if you steal our stuff, UK, we won’t pay you”. In addition, a judicial review, based on the premise that the Act gives Minister unconstitutional power over the disposal of private property [4], is not out of the question.

Secondly, the disappearance of useful material from the internet is likely to accelerate – the exact opposite of what supporters wish for. We recently highlighted the case of an aerial photographer who’s moving work outside the UK, and we’ve heard of several who are taking their photos away from the web, and into lockers. The internet is poorer without a diverse creative economy – because creators need legal certainty of property rights.

And finally, there’s the macroeconomic consequences for the UK economy.

The notorious ‘Google Review’ chaired by Ian Hargreaves failed to undertake adequate impact assessments, a giveaway that even the most rabid “copyright reformers” ecognise there isn’t an economic case to be made for taking everyone’s stuff and giving it away.

“There’s value in works, and if anybody can exploit them except the person who creates them, then value is transferred to the exploiter,” explains Ellis. “This is a massive value transfer out of the UK economy to US tech companies.”

Where it will remain, he thinks, because UK tech/media companies – should they appear – almost invariably become US-owned.

Copyright “reformers” of course rarely like to talk about such unpleasant matters – and will steer the conversation away from economic consequences as rapidly as possible. Indeed, the they generally talk using Orwellian euphemisms – like “liberalising” or “rebalancing” copyright. It’s rarely presented as an individual’s ability to go to market being removed. This is what “copyright reform” looks like in practice.

“It’s corporate capitalism,” says Ellis. “Ideally you want to empower individuals to trade, and keep the proceeds of their trade. The UK has just lost that.”

So while the Twitterati and intelligensia were ranting away about ‘Big Content’, we just lost the ability to sell own Own Content. In other words, you’ve just been Royally fucked. ®